In a recent Bible study I attended, one of the participants clearly was struggling with divorce. He seemed aware of the commandment “thou shall not divorce” and the Mt 5:31-32 scripture, leaving little or no room for a soft landing on divorce. No one in attendance, including a pastor, provided any words of relief or consolation to the individual. The incident motivated me to think through a response for someone struggling with divorce.
Marital divorce is a great wrecking ball of personal emotion and sadness. Marriage is the very basic family unit, the building block of a society, and a big negative for the family unit. The Catholic Church has historically been very harsh on members, with restrictions on communion participation and a very invasive and expensive annulment process. Most church denominations have softened on a hard stance given the number of divorced church members. My perception is that divorce is accepted reluctantly in society.
Christ was certainly forgiving of adultery, as illustrated in the Biblical scripture John 8:1-11 on the stoning of a woman caught in adultery. His final comment was, “I do not condemn you either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
The Bible is full of comforting scripture and stories on the great love God has for us. Psalm 136:1 is a wonderful reminder of God’s everlasting love. Often quoted, John 3:16 is a strong reminder of God’s love for us.
Accepting Jesus is paramount to receiving eternal life. Forgiveness of others and ourselves is a central part of the model prayer Mt 6:14 (forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others). Make no mistake, believing requires a personal transformation in our life, as stated in John 3:3 “I assure you and most solemnly say to you unless a person is born again (transformed), he cannot see and experience the kingdom of God.”
Transform your life with reconciliation. I have known two pastors who were also lawyers handling divorce cases. One took a nice divorce fee and regularly preached a Sunday sermon. The other one gained a reputation of reconciling couples. Your attorney choice may not have your well-being at heart.
In summary: Be accountable to your wedding vows. Do not make selfish ways and greed part of your life. Make your spouse a priority in your life. Work to stay in a marriage. Reconcile. Sometimes reconciliation is simply not possible, but really try. Be born again and transform into a better you. Forgive your spouse and yourself as God forgives. Remembering God loves you, as often illustrated throughout the Bible.
You can be forgiven for divorce as you can be forgiven for murder, greed and a thousand other things. Do your part of being born again by being a better version of yourself. You become what you think about. Put God in your life.
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