INTENTIONAL GRANDPARENTING IN THE 21ST CENTURY.
Grandparenting is different than parenting and can present some new challenges in the 21st century. Yet 21st century grandparenting can be a time for you to have the greatest impact on your family and your legacy.
Grandparenting today presents some old and some new obstacles. Our retirement culture may be the biggest obstacle with a culture that says at retirement you worked hard all your life now it is time to go play, travel, fish, spend it all and spoil the grandchildren. The culture promotes leisure that emboldens a self-centered lifestyle.
I recently talked to a grandparent who was having wonderful time taking the grandchildren to gymnastics and other activities. She clearly was not buying into the retirement culture. She described and loved helping her children. What a beacon of family love and service!
Which brings up an obstacle of physical distance between grandparents and their children and grandchildren. In our mobile world this can present issues for you to have a positive impact on your grandchildren and your legacy. It will take learning to communicate over distance using methods beyond snail mail and phone calls. I have found communication success with texting, emailing and Marco Polo. However, it does require getting out my comfort zone with those new means of communication.
Other obstacles include control, broken relationships, divorce, religion, and church attendance. These are probably the tough ones and may take a great deal of repentance, forgiveness, tolerance and understanding on the part of the grandparent.
My parents bought a farm for $43 an acre. My grandparents considered this a wild speculate foolish mistake questioning the sanity of their children. They had just come through the great depression. My parents saw it different and saw the price of land soar. As grandparents we must trust our children that we did a good job of raising them and remember they are adults. If you feel you made some real bad mistakes as a parent, admit the mistakes, forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness.
Parents have control in their tool kit with less and less control as the children grow with more need for influencing. With grandparenting it is all about influence.
If the relationship with your children is stranded or lacking, you will have to fix it to influence your grandchildren. God calls us to be allies and assets to the younger generation. The responsibility falls on us as grandparents to act maturely and wisely. This may mean giving up CNN and Fox News and the destructive and group thinking modes so often demonstrated to gain audiences.
Religion and church attendance can cause great anxiety between the generations. Living a life with love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control will set an example of a life well lived. Church attendance should be an indication of a life well lived, but that is not always the case. Living well sets the example and is of great influence with family.
Make no mistake that believing in God or a higher authority is critical element to quality of life. The Bible is a must read for the messages and instruction for living. A great and entertaining way to hear the gospel messages is the movie series Chosen available free on many digital channels.
I am no grandparenting expert and could easily learn from you as a grandparent. My attendance at grandparenting classes at Lake Fork Baptist church and the LegacyCoalition.org is the source for most of this article. You are invited to the non-denominational Wednesday night lessons and discussions on grandparenting starting at 6:15 PM. Make your retirement years your greatest contribution to your family and your legacy.
BE AN INTENTIONAL GRANDPARENT.
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